Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Christmas list

It’s no secret that I love, and I do mean L-O-V-E, all things Christmas. Here are two things that I have decided for this Christmas season.

1) I’m going to try to accomplish 90% of my Christmas shopping online.

Here’s why: 
       a) I don’t have to GO anywhere. Except from my couch to my chair. Maybe. Maybe I’ll just stay on my couch. Who knows.
       b) Chances are, there’s a gift wrapping option. This eliminates a problem I have that is called “yes, I wrapped this by myself. Sorry. But did you like how I used aluminum foil to cover that one spot?”
       c) I like getting packages. So what if I know what’s inside isn’t for me? I just like coming home to a box on my doorstep with my name on it. Whatever.

2) I’m going to go ALL-OUT with Christmas lights. Colored Christmas lights, to be exact.

Here’s why:
       a) There may or may not have been a near relationship-ending fight with my boyfriend about colored vs. white lights.
       b) He likes white lights and is not willing to budge or compromise on this matter.
       c) Therefore, while we’re still single and not living or decorating together, I will passive aggressively throw colored Christmas lights on  any and everything possible…including, but not limited to, headboards, closets, dressers, mirrors, and toilets.

There’s a possibility I’ll add a 3rd thing to this list and that the 3rd thing is “I’m going to get everyone Snuggies for Christmas.”
The great thing about #3 is that is also satisfies most of #1…minus the gift wrapping. But still…

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Sunday evening thoughts

First things first. If I had too much money, I would pay someone to put blankets and clothes in the dryer so that they are completely warm by the time I want to put them on me.

The next-door neighbors have a giant, pink, Princess castle bouncy house in their driveway. It's taking a lot of self-control to not go jump in it.

I am watching What Women Want and I'm not sure why. I hate this movie. The remote control is right next to me. Yet I have not changed the channel.

The main thought that occupies my mind November through March is this: Is it too early to get in bed? If so, how much longer do I have to wait until I can get in bed?

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Here’s the thing. I WANT to get back into blogging, but I’m feeling a major lack of inspiration. I like to blame it (and everything else) on the fact that the love of my life lives 3000 miles away. No, but seriously. It’s become a major crutch. It started out innocent enough. “I’m weirdly attached to my phone because I miss him and he might call”.  It started to go downhill…“I’m not going to go running today because I’m sad that he’s not here”.  Then it really snowballed…“I’m not going to get out of bed today because life is too unbearable when we’re separated”. And then it took a turn for the ridiculous…”I am going to listen to all of my Christmas cds in September because I miss him and Christmas makes me feel better”.  Don’t worry, it’s a totally healthy relationship. You might think “codependent” but that’s just another word for “love”, right?
So there’s that.
And then there’s the lack of really good material that’s leading to this inspiration-less fog. As much as I could fill pages and pages up with “TRUE LIFE: This really IS my job”,  I’m hesitant to do that for multiple reasons. But seriously you guys…it is unreal. Also, I feel like a lot of bitterness would spring forth if I opened up the floodgate that is  the “My new boss sits directly across from the break room so now I feel really self-conscious about the number of times I make trips to the water cooler every day” issue. BUT, I have an obligation to my readers that I have not been fulfilling, so…we’ll press on.

THEN there’s the fact that there’s just not enough hours in the day. Thanks to the end of daylight savings time, my body is calling it quits right around 7:30pm these days. The sun goes down and suddenly my brain is all “well, it’s been fun, but that’s about it for me!” as if he were stuck in the farming days where life and death depended on the rising and setting sun. [yes, my brain is a he. Whatever] So that leaves a pretty small window of opportunity between “getting home from work” and “collapsing into bed”. And I’m sorry, but it becomes more important to fill that small window with the really essential things like “eating” and “watching The Biggest Loser”.

Enough excuses, Wirth. Time to get back on the wagon. Or off the wagon. I never remember the correct use of that metaphor. I would google it to verify, but I really miss my boyfriend.